Last night we watched the X-Factor as we couldn't afford to go to the theatre. Twas a sad night for fairy-kind, despite the fact we like the X-Factor, and think Dannii Minogue has the best hair in showbiz. We would, however, imlpore Simon Cowell to remove his hairy hand from Cheryl's chair even though we don't even like the patronising geordie lass.
What is it with so called talent on this show? We think we have heard some of the very best on the West End stages and cringe to hear the likes of Cher being praised for being an amazing singer when she is clearly all attitude and staging and no substance. We know she is, apparently, what the kids like, and appreciate she has enormous backing in the shape of prepubescents whose bones have yet to form in their wee skulls, but we're backing Rebecca and that's that.
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Musings on the Meadster
God on high, hear our prayer.
In our dreams, Lee is often there.
We think about him a lot.
Because lovely Lee Mead is handsome in a goofy yet matinee idol way.
Because he sings well, if not as well as Mr Groban.
Because he is wasted on Denise Van Outen and his menopausal fans.
We wish good and happy things for Mr Mead.... he seems to have lost his sparkle at the moment - he didn`t even make a sartorial effort at the Apollo 80th Birthday gala, showing up in his gardening clothes.
But we forgive him, and are here to offer him help, understanding and guidance in restoring his former sparkle.
We promise to be gentle.
Amen.
In our dreams, Lee is often there.
We think about him a lot.
Because lovely Lee Mead is handsome in a goofy yet matinee idol way.
Because he sings well, if not as well as Mr Groban.
Because he is wasted on Denise Van Outen and his menopausal fans.
We wish good and happy things for Mr Mead.... he seems to have lost his sparkle at the moment - he didn`t even make a sartorial effort at the Apollo 80th Birthday gala, showing up in his gardening clothes.
But we forgive him, and are here to offer him help, understanding and guidance in restoring his former sparkle.
We promise to be gentle.
Amen.
The Ball, the man, the magic....
Ten reasons to love Michael Ball:
- His dimples.
- His utter twinkliness.
- The fact that he singlehandedly saved Marius from the teenage clutches of a Jonas brother at the O2.
- He is Mr Showbiz.
- He is Mr Musical Theatre.
- He looks equally good in a frock or a frock coat.
- He is good to his undeniably freaky fans. (We definitely can't compete in freakdom. We have standards. We have limits. Well, a few.)
- His VOICE.
- His 1985 mullet and earring combo.
- We have come to the conclusion there is no one, simply no one who would be more fun on Boxing Day.
Happy Halloween - the appropriate time to review Flashdance
We may have given the impression, so far, that we aren't really very kind and don't like our theatre. Wrong. Wrong, on so many levels we can not begin to tell you! The theatre fairies will happily attend the opening of any theatrical envelope and are guaranteed a splendid time on every single occasion. It's just that some occasions are more enjoyable than others and we fairies are always truthful and just tell you as we see it.
On this premise we are now able to give you our account of 'Flashdance - The Musical' aka shag the bosses nephew and become a ballerina. We had the good fortune of attending not only the opening night, but also hobnobbing with the stars at the aftershow party; an occasion which required a posh frock and new shoes, which made us very happy indeed. The red carpet was an event in itself; Tamsin sadly missed this due to an unfortunate blip with her homing beacon, but Karina kept her up to date by text as the great and the good arrived to pose for the paparazzi. Karina tried to pose but to little camera interest. Maybe next time. Spotted; ALW, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Gabby Roslin, Arlene Phillips, a very handsome Craig Revel Horwood, Duncan James from Blue, a flurry of Hollyoaks pretty people and Strictly Come Dancing alumni and Kelly Brook who was late, loud and didn't mind who knew it.
Onto the show. We've seen the film and wished we were Alex. Hasn't everyone? Even though her bottom belonged to a bloke you still believed she was the best dancer in the town - nay, the world - just undiscovered. You felt her pain when faced with the ballet snobs and just knew she was wiling to pay with sweat , just like in Fame. Oh you just knew. But did this Alex want to do the same? We're not sure. On the stage were other dancers who were better, stronger and sometimes even seemed more motivated to succeed than Alex who loved her welding ad smart one liners a bit too much. Victoria Hamilton-Barritt is pretty, a fair dancer and a great singer with a belting voice. Maybe this didn't help, as due to the musicals requirement for Alex to be an all rounder, her dancing doesn't take centre stage. She is likable though, and makes the best of what she is given.
The supporting cast are numerous and strong - especially Alex's lap dancing friends and there were moments of choreographic joy which made us gasp, but were over far too soon. The mix of styles was a little distracting, the street dance was impressive but out of place - as was ballroom during 'Manhunt' . Odd.
Love interest Matt Willis is an interesting choice, and tried hard. He is very likable as the bossman with a conscience, but his solo about the working mans plight was truly awful. Not really him, the song. But his voice does need work to hold up against classically trained performers, and no amount of likability disguises this. But he does know how to show a girl a good time on a first date - we'll give him that.
The two most iconic scenes (Onstage shower & audition) are sadly disappointing in their impact or lack of. The shower is a sprinkle and over in ten seconds flat, and the audition gets hijacked by aforesaid street dancers. The judges made us laugh, but not in a good way.....
Oh dear. A negative tone has crept in... Flashdance isn't bad, but it isn't great - and definitely isn't our cuppa. A 2 hour long Bon Jovi video is kind of what it felt like, with a bit of death, social issues and ballet thrown in to give it some heart.
Eventually of course, love conquers all. Alex clomps her way into a prestigious ballet school by playing her own records and throwing some shapes never before witnessed in such a place. Good for her. She saves her friend from a nasty pimp, and punches his lights out as well. Good on her. But you kind of knew she was capable of all that anyway, as she is played with such confidence, sassiness and a lack of vulnerability. So where is the surprise? The emotional journey? This Alex can do anything she wants, clearly - she rules the welding firm and manages her friends lives. Although she loves Mum, she is already fiercely independent - and so it's hard to believe that she lacks the balls to just march into the ballet school as if she owned the place and start teaching classes. In pole dancing.
The after show party was a thoroughly enjoyable and celebtastic experience, although sadly we left early to avoid life as a pumpkin - and we like to think this added to our sense of mystery. The biggest eye opener was the sad side of celebrity culture where being seen is more important than who you are. We won't mention names to protect the OK magazine deals, but it was a moment of clarity for us and led us to appreciate our own mundane normality just that little bit more. Saying that, the ice sculpture was magnificent in it's tackiness, and the champagne was yum.
Although we have linked this review to Halloween, it was not the stuff of nightmares, just disappointing in it's lack of impact & better as a movie than a musical.
After the movie, you want to be Alex.
After the musical you want to just go home.
Such is life.
On this premise we are now able to give you our account of 'Flashdance - The Musical' aka shag the bosses nephew and become a ballerina. We had the good fortune of attending not only the opening night, but also hobnobbing with the stars at the aftershow party; an occasion which required a posh frock and new shoes, which made us very happy indeed. The red carpet was an event in itself; Tamsin sadly missed this due to an unfortunate blip with her homing beacon, but Karina kept her up to date by text as the great and the good arrived to pose for the paparazzi. Karina tried to pose but to little camera interest. Maybe next time. Spotted; ALW, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Gabby Roslin, Arlene Phillips, a very handsome Craig Revel Horwood, Duncan James from Blue, a flurry of Hollyoaks pretty people and Strictly Come Dancing alumni and Kelly Brook who was late, loud and didn't mind who knew it.
Onto the show. We've seen the film and wished we were Alex. Hasn't everyone? Even though her bottom belonged to a bloke you still believed she was the best dancer in the town - nay, the world - just undiscovered. You felt her pain when faced with the ballet snobs and just knew she was wiling to pay with sweat , just like in Fame. Oh you just knew. But did this Alex want to do the same? We're not sure. On the stage were other dancers who were better, stronger and sometimes even seemed more motivated to succeed than Alex who loved her welding ad smart one liners a bit too much. Victoria Hamilton-Barritt is pretty, a fair dancer and a great singer with a belting voice. Maybe this didn't help, as due to the musicals requirement for Alex to be an all rounder, her dancing doesn't take centre stage. She is likable though, and makes the best of what she is given.
The supporting cast are numerous and strong - especially Alex's lap dancing friends and there were moments of choreographic joy which made us gasp, but were over far too soon. The mix of styles was a little distracting, the street dance was impressive but out of place - as was ballroom during 'Manhunt' . Odd.
Love interest Matt Willis is an interesting choice, and tried hard. He is very likable as the bossman with a conscience, but his solo about the working mans plight was truly awful. Not really him, the song. But his voice does need work to hold up against classically trained performers, and no amount of likability disguises this. But he does know how to show a girl a good time on a first date - we'll give him that.
The two most iconic scenes (Onstage shower & audition) are sadly disappointing in their impact or lack of. The shower is a sprinkle and over in ten seconds flat, and the audition gets hijacked by aforesaid street dancers. The judges made us laugh, but not in a good way.....
Oh dear. A negative tone has crept in... Flashdance isn't bad, but it isn't great - and definitely isn't our cuppa. A 2 hour long Bon Jovi video is kind of what it felt like, with a bit of death, social issues and ballet thrown in to give it some heart.
Eventually of course, love conquers all. Alex clomps her way into a prestigious ballet school by playing her own records and throwing some shapes never before witnessed in such a place. Good for her. She saves her friend from a nasty pimp, and punches his lights out as well. Good on her. But you kind of knew she was capable of all that anyway, as she is played with such confidence, sassiness and a lack of vulnerability. So where is the surprise? The emotional journey? This Alex can do anything she wants, clearly - she rules the welding firm and manages her friends lives. Although she loves Mum, she is already fiercely independent - and so it's hard to believe that she lacks the balls to just march into the ballet school as if she owned the place and start teaching classes. In pole dancing.
The after show party was a thoroughly enjoyable and celebtastic experience, although sadly we left early to avoid life as a pumpkin - and we like to think this added to our sense of mystery. The biggest eye opener was the sad side of celebrity culture where being seen is more important than who you are. We won't mention names to protect the OK magazine deals, but it was a moment of clarity for us and led us to appreciate our own mundane normality just that little bit more. Saying that, the ice sculpture was magnificent in it's tackiness, and the champagne was yum.
Although we have linked this review to Halloween, it was not the stuff of nightmares, just disappointing in it's lack of impact & better as a movie than a musical.
After the movie, you want to be Alex.
After the musical you want to just go home.
Such is life.
For the love of misery.
This could be a long night.
Well, it already is - but we are enjoying the blogosphere so much we are like Duracell bunnies. 'Tis handy the clocks go back so we get fake long Sunday tomorrow. Yay!
We may run out of inspiration after this marathon, but for now our creative wings are a-flapping so we shall forge on with our whimsical tales of theatre visitation.
We thought about reviewing Flashdance first, but decided it might give us nightmares, so decided to stick to what we know & love dearly. Welders can wait.
Les Miserables.
Lovely, beautiful, epic, dark, depressing, passionate, soaring, inspirational, make-you-cry-Les-Mis.
Can you tell how much we adore it? We lovely ladies have dreamed many a dream on our own sitting on empty chairs at empty tables. We've heard the people sing the songs of angry men alongside the master of the house. Oh yes. Our hearts are full of love, for one day more, for this musical which, despite its subject matter, is the ultimate feel-good show. Considering only 4 cast members remain alive at the end of miz, this is quite remarkable. But the Miz is life-affirming stuff.
True, in terms of feelgood frolics it's no Mamma Mia (thankfully, ~ Tamsin left MM feeling depressed and bereft...and nobody even died, though Tamsin lost the will to live before the interval! ) but you come out of Les Mis feeling like a better human being for having seen it. Your fairies have had the privilege of seeing this remarkable show more times than we care to count the cost of, but most recently during the 25th anniversary celebrations; first at the Barbican, with the touring cast, then at the O2 with pretty much every other cast. The original London version at the Queens theatre is permanently etched in our hearts for so, so many reasons that if they ever need a couple of understudies one phone call would suffice; the day jobs would be history and the fairies fully fledged, full time miserables. Oh the joy.
Some people don't like this show, mad fools. They say it's depressing. Some say it makes a mockery of Hugo's epic 'brick'. What utter rubbish. So called purists can run and jump. We know what we like and we like what we do, and we haven't single handedly kept the show running in the West End for 25 years (we're not that old, dearies). So other people feel the love.
As time is ticking on and we're getting tired, a comparative study of Triple Misery may have to wait in favour of a dream casting which keeps us much happier at this time of the morning. Oooooh, so many options to consider, so many men, so little time. Not that we do these reviews or go to the theatre to ogle men. Shame on you for even thinking that.
So we have established we quite like the story. In addition, for now, we can tell you that the tunes are catchy and the stage rotates, which is always good. We like the beggars in the streets, Javert with his tall hat, lovely sideburns and sweeping coat and we like Fantine's hair pre-haircut. She should so grow it back in heaven (well done tour!!). But down to just a couple of specifics. We have seen a few Valjeans, Javerts and Enjolri, Eponines, Cosettes and Thernardiers (we don't talk about Marius because he's a wet blanket and we don't speak of Fantine because Susan Boyle has ruined the memory of her forever) and have come up with a wish list we would like Cameron Mackintosh to consider for the movie and the soundtrack, pretty please. we wouldn't be demanding royalties or anything, just a mention in the credits and a few walk on parts. So.
Jean Valjean. For the fairies this can only be one man. The original Rock Valjean, Drew Sarich. Now Drew is God. We love him. We do. No one hits the high notes in 'Bring him home' like Drew. No one looks as angry or as gentle or as commanding. No one. So what if he's American? Where does it say in the book that Valjean ISN'T American???? If it does, we don't care anyway. Besides, since leaving London Drew has done nothing but shit (trust us, we have the DVD of Rudolf...) and he's capable of so much more. We know. And he's pretty. Bring him home, we say.
Fantine is obviously Lea Salonga. Who else is there who can sing like her, emote like her and make us blub continually into our chocolate bars throughout the first quarter of the show? Only her. End of. No arguments and there is no room for debate here. Our word is the law and the law is not mocked.
Thernardiers. Who cares? We've never seen a bad pairing as the part is a gift. And anyone who voluntarily looks that scabby for a show deserves a prize. However, if we do sit in the front row we prefer not to be there when Jimmy Johnstone is on as he spits a long way and we were wiping off his DNA from our faces long after the show ended. He is fabulous though. But a bit spitty.
Fanfare.
Enjolras.
Cue the angel music.It has to be the Lord of the Revolutionaries, the flaxen haired Adonis that is David Thaxton. Seeing is believing. Oh, we would run to war with him. We would. We would mop his brow and make him tea. Karina would even knit him a new vest. She would. No one dies quite like him, with such a flourish, hanging precariously from one pointy foot, having arranged his hair carefully prior to this (yes David, we have sat in the upper circle. We can see you). On a serious note he is an amazing singer, holds a note and just happens to be the prettiest of them all as well.
As a close second we have to give an honourable mention to Ramin Karimloo, as having seen him in the part at the O2 he was quite magnificent. Tamsin and Karina both dream of a dream team of David Thaxton, Ramin Karimloo and Drew Sarich as the three kind-of-tenors-though-they're-really-not, but you get our meaning. And not one of them is like fat Pav. The Three Enjolri? Are you listening Lord Earl of Carpenter??
Wet Marius. Bless him. He tries and his heart is in the right place. Obviously we can't have twinklesome Michael Ball anymore, as we suspect he would probably think himself the wrong age and the wrong shape for the role - not that the fairies are at all ageist or sizeist. We love Michael. We just think he's great as Edna and fabulous when doing what he does best. Show tunes in concert. So who to choose? We have harboured a secret hankering for a while now to see oh so gorgeous Lee Mead in this part, ever since his curly haired, eye brow wiggling ways on TV first alerted us to the fact he might be rather talented. And even a bit pretty. We saw him almost naked a few times as well. So we know that a woman, even one as pathetically dim as Cosette, can fall in love with him quite easily. He can sing nicely. And he'd look great in a frock coat and tight trousers. That's just our humble opinion. What else do you require from a Marius? It's Enjolras who's the guiding light, the veritable beacon, and the one everyone follows to death and certain destruction. Oops. Wrong section. We're back on Enjolras. Never mind. Anyway. Lee Mead would make us cry in 'Empty chairs at empty tables' and his voice is like chocolate. Any dream will do.
Eponine is a tricky one. Francis Ruffelle is too old. Nancy Sullivan is great but not the best singer. Cassie Compton is in Wicked. Bonnie Langford is too bouncy. And the wrong side of 20. Lets face it. The fairies can't think of any female performers to fit the bill perfectly but there must be somebody. We'll come back to it. And of course if any readers have any suggestions feel free to post them on a card to Fairyland. In these days of CGI, maybe Lea Salonga could do a Benjamin Button and play both parts? This would keep us content and smiley.
Out of all the Cosette's we like Katie Hall the best. She has a good voice and is the least irritating, which is what you want in a Cosette. Tabitha Webb did Cosette well at Earls karaoke picnic and deserves a mention.
As for Les Amis - a generic job description will suffice. They must be strapping, hard working, able to hold a tune and willing to go to certain death following the the direction of Enjolras's cheekbones (we still love him). They must look good in tricolour sashes, know how to handle rifles, march well on the spot and be able to hold their drink (with the exception of Grantaire who can be as pissed as a fart because he's loved regardless). Must be able to die in slow motion and look ghostly and accusing when required. Oh my friends, my friends. Just don't.
You see, Les Mis is an institution. A national treasure. A thing of joy.
Honourable mentions:
John Owen Jones as Welsh Valjean
Alfie Boe as Opera Valjean
Simon Bowman as poorly-sick Valjean
Hans-Peter Janssens as Nordic Javert ('Shtarsh, you are da shentinnnalsh...' Aaah we miss you!)
Gareth Gates as mobile Marius
Jon Robyns for services to a facially expressive Marius
Alistair Brammer for vibrato Marius
Jon Lee as S-Club Marius
John Joe Flynn for services to twirlyness as Montparnasse
and finally
Simon Shorten, known to the fairies as Sunday Valjean, who is fabulous and nearly as good as Drew Sarich. Just not quite, YET. But getting there!
And now the fairies would like to bid you all good night and leave you waiting with baited breath for the next installment.
When tomorrow comes.
Well, it already is - but we are enjoying the blogosphere so much we are like Duracell bunnies. 'Tis handy the clocks go back so we get fake long Sunday tomorrow. Yay!
We may run out of inspiration after this marathon, but for now our creative wings are a-flapping so we shall forge on with our whimsical tales of theatre visitation.
We thought about reviewing Flashdance first, but decided it might give us nightmares, so decided to stick to what we know & love dearly. Welders can wait.
Les Miserables.
Lovely, beautiful, epic, dark, depressing, passionate, soaring, inspirational, make-you-cry-Les-Mis.
Can you tell how much we adore it? We lovely ladies have dreamed many a dream on our own sitting on empty chairs at empty tables. We've heard the people sing the songs of angry men alongside the master of the house. Oh yes. Our hearts are full of love, for one day more, for this musical which, despite its subject matter, is the ultimate feel-good show. Considering only 4 cast members remain alive at the end of miz, this is quite remarkable. But the Miz is life-affirming stuff.
True, in terms of feelgood frolics it's no Mamma Mia (thankfully, ~ Tamsin left MM feeling depressed and bereft...and nobody even died, though Tamsin lost the will to live before the interval! ) but you come out of Les Mis feeling like a better human being for having seen it. Your fairies have had the privilege of seeing this remarkable show more times than we care to count the cost of, but most recently during the 25th anniversary celebrations; first at the Barbican, with the touring cast, then at the O2 with pretty much every other cast. The original London version at the Queens theatre is permanently etched in our hearts for so, so many reasons that if they ever need a couple of understudies one phone call would suffice; the day jobs would be history and the fairies fully fledged, full time miserables. Oh the joy.
Some people don't like this show, mad fools. They say it's depressing. Some say it makes a mockery of Hugo's epic 'brick'. What utter rubbish. So called purists can run and jump. We know what we like and we like what we do, and we haven't single handedly kept the show running in the West End for 25 years (we're not that old, dearies). So other people feel the love.
As time is ticking on and we're getting tired, a comparative study of Triple Misery may have to wait in favour of a dream casting which keeps us much happier at this time of the morning. Oooooh, so many options to consider, so many men, so little time. Not that we do these reviews or go to the theatre to ogle men. Shame on you for even thinking that.
So we have established we quite like the story. In addition, for now, we can tell you that the tunes are catchy and the stage rotates, which is always good. We like the beggars in the streets, Javert with his tall hat, lovely sideburns and sweeping coat and we like Fantine's hair pre-haircut. She should so grow it back in heaven (well done tour!!). But down to just a couple of specifics. We have seen a few Valjeans, Javerts and Enjolri, Eponines, Cosettes and Thernardiers (we don't talk about Marius because he's a wet blanket and we don't speak of Fantine because Susan Boyle has ruined the memory of her forever) and have come up with a wish list we would like Cameron Mackintosh to consider for the movie and the soundtrack, pretty please. we wouldn't be demanding royalties or anything, just a mention in the credits and a few walk on parts. So.
Jean Valjean. For the fairies this can only be one man. The original Rock Valjean, Drew Sarich. Now Drew is God. We love him. We do. No one hits the high notes in 'Bring him home' like Drew. No one looks as angry or as gentle or as commanding. No one. So what if he's American? Where does it say in the book that Valjean ISN'T American???? If it does, we don't care anyway. Besides, since leaving London Drew has done nothing but shit (trust us, we have the DVD of Rudolf...) and he's capable of so much more. We know. And he's pretty. Bring him home, we say.
Javert. Mumbly, pompous, speak-singing, can't-understand-him-but-we'll still -do-what-he-says-yes-sir Earl Carpenter. We love him too. We believe he currently holds corporate events as the Earl of Carpenter in his stately home Osbourne House on the Isle of Wight where he invited everyone, us included, for a picnic on his lawn in July 2009, as long as we didn't leave litter.
And we didn't. We did get drunk though and wet in the process, Such fun. Anyway, the good Earl of Carpenter made a saintly bishop at the O2 but needs to be back in his kinky boots standing on the bridge with his mad-hair-before-jumping. We love him (do you see a pattern forming?).
Fantine is obviously Lea Salonga. Who else is there who can sing like her, emote like her and make us blub continually into our chocolate bars throughout the first quarter of the show? Only her. End of. No arguments and there is no room for debate here. Our word is the law and the law is not mocked.
Thernardiers. Who cares? We've never seen a bad pairing as the part is a gift. And anyone who voluntarily looks that scabby for a show deserves a prize. However, if we do sit in the front row we prefer not to be there when Jimmy Johnstone is on as he spits a long way and we were wiping off his DNA from our faces long after the show ended. He is fabulous though. But a bit spitty.
Fanfare.
Enjolras.
Cue the angel music.It has to be the Lord of the Revolutionaries, the flaxen haired Adonis that is David Thaxton. Seeing is believing. Oh, we would run to war with him. We would. We would mop his brow and make him tea. Karina would even knit him a new vest. She would. No one dies quite like him, with such a flourish, hanging precariously from one pointy foot, having arranged his hair carefully prior to this (yes David, we have sat in the upper circle. We can see you). On a serious note he is an amazing singer, holds a note and just happens to be the prettiest of them all as well.
As a close second we have to give an honourable mention to Ramin Karimloo, as having seen him in the part at the O2 he was quite magnificent. Tamsin and Karina both dream of a dream team of David Thaxton, Ramin Karimloo and Drew Sarich as the three kind-of-tenors-though-they're-really-not, but you get our meaning. And not one of them is like fat Pav. The Three Enjolri? Are you listening Lord Earl of Carpenter??
Wet Marius. Bless him. He tries and his heart is in the right place. Obviously we can't have twinklesome Michael Ball anymore, as we suspect he would probably think himself the wrong age and the wrong shape for the role - not that the fairies are at all ageist or sizeist. We love Michael. We just think he's great as Edna and fabulous when doing what he does best. Show tunes in concert. So who to choose? We have harboured a secret hankering for a while now to see oh so gorgeous Lee Mead in this part, ever since his curly haired, eye brow wiggling ways on TV first alerted us to the fact he might be rather talented. And even a bit pretty. We saw him almost naked a few times as well. So we know that a woman, even one as pathetically dim as Cosette, can fall in love with him quite easily. He can sing nicely. And he'd look great in a frock coat and tight trousers. That's just our humble opinion. What else do you require from a Marius? It's Enjolras who's the guiding light, the veritable beacon, and the one everyone follows to death and certain destruction. Oops. Wrong section. We're back on Enjolras. Never mind. Anyway. Lee Mead would make us cry in 'Empty chairs at empty tables' and his voice is like chocolate. Any dream will do.
Eponine is a tricky one. Francis Ruffelle is too old. Nancy Sullivan is great but not the best singer. Cassie Compton is in Wicked. Bonnie Langford is too bouncy. And the wrong side of 20. Lets face it. The fairies can't think of any female performers to fit the bill perfectly but there must be somebody. We'll come back to it. And of course if any readers have any suggestions feel free to post them on a card to Fairyland. In these days of CGI, maybe Lea Salonga could do a Benjamin Button and play both parts? This would keep us content and smiley.
Out of all the Cosette's we like Katie Hall the best. She has a good voice and is the least irritating, which is what you want in a Cosette. Tabitha Webb did Cosette well at Earls karaoke picnic and deserves a mention.
As for Les Amis - a generic job description will suffice. They must be strapping, hard working, able to hold a tune and willing to go to certain death following the the direction of Enjolras's cheekbones (we still love him). They must look good in tricolour sashes, know how to handle rifles, march well on the spot and be able to hold their drink (with the exception of Grantaire who can be as pissed as a fart because he's loved regardless). Must be able to die in slow motion and look ghostly and accusing when required. Oh my friends, my friends. Just don't.
You see, Les Mis is an institution. A national treasure. A thing of joy.
Honourable mentions:
John Owen Jones as Welsh Valjean
Alfie Boe as Opera Valjean
Simon Bowman as poorly-sick Valjean
Hans-Peter Janssens as Nordic Javert ('Shtarsh, you are da shentinnnalsh...' Aaah we miss you!)
Gareth Gates as mobile Marius
Jon Robyns for services to a facially expressive Marius
Alistair Brammer for vibrato Marius
Jon Lee as S-Club Marius
John Joe Flynn for services to twirlyness as Montparnasse
and finally
Simon Shorten, known to the fairies as Sunday Valjean, who is fabulous and nearly as good as Drew Sarich. Just not quite, YET. But getting there!
And now the fairies would like to bid you all good night and leave you waiting with baited breath for the next installment.
When tomorrow comes.
 |
| Je ne regrette rien... |
Another dawn and all that bollocks.
It's a fine line between passion and a restraining order.
Love is ..... remember the cartoons??
Well, best forget them now because if you are to believe the message of Sondheim's Passion, it`s probably best to run for the hills when romance comes calling. Unless its in the form of David Thaxton of course, then you would be forgiven for opening the door and inviting him up for coffee.
Tamsin has said our review cannot be all about his pants though, so we will write about the show first.
It`s dark. Positively claustrophobic, intense and suffocating. Not a feel good show then.
This was our first time in the intimate setting of the Donmar Warehouse, and the tiny space is perfect for this production with its themes of tortured love, yearning, and ultimately madness. As we sit here writing this review, Will Young is singing "Leave right now" on Sad FM. How apt.
Not meaning that we wanted to leave at any point, but it is advice that Giorgio should probably have heeded early on. Would he listen? Would he 'eckaslike. He was too nice you see. Eager to please like a likkle puppy, he ignored the warnings of his fellow officers and made a new friend.
Wrong decision.
We really enjoyed the production, the singing / acting / staging were all really impressive in their honesty & simplicity. So what didn't we like? Well, basically the score. Apart from a couple of exceptions (the songs after everyone goes mad and the soldiers marching numbers) the score is pretty bland and unmemorable. Almost abstract. We are sure Sondheim fans would disagree, but we are musical girls through and through and love a rollicking tune. (Do you hear the people sing anyone??)
It's a strange thing really....everyone is singing but the songs seem to be missing. Where are the melodies? The refrains and hummable bits? Are we shallow to expect this from a musical? Maybe. But we are simple creatures who don't want to have to concentrate to find the melody in the madness. We could tell from the audience we were probably alone in this and thought it best to hide our sparkly wings under our seats and get down to the serious business of musical appreciation. Bravo.
But to be honest - although it's quite a biggie - the score did not spoil our experience or enjoyment of the production & the stellar performances. They really are well cast, subtle despite the unsubtle nature of the subject matter - and Elena Roger brings a truth to a truly odd character, making it believable that the handsome officer would give up his ravishing mistress to be with Fosca in her warped world. But then of course she dies on him. Bummer. Such a powerful voice (esp the screaming....) for such a teeny tiny person. Wow. The ensemble give solid and entertaining performances, and deserve a special mention for enthusiastically tucking into some of the most revolting looking food we have ever seen. No wonder Fosca never comes down for dinner.
Scarlett Strallen as Clara stunned us with her ethereal beauty, making us utterly self-flagellating and depressed right up until the point she drooled all over the stage during a particularly long bar. See, she is human. As are we, who merely drool at the sight of David Thaxton in his skivvies. See, told you we were shallow.
Obviously, he is more than the sum of his pants, so we will review in full. Having seen him previously as Enjolras in Les Miserables, we knew what to expect. Although the score didn't give him scope to exercise his vocal ability to full capacity, the tone of his voice is full, rich, and commanding. He also commands the stage and has a sensitive, gentle take on the role which makes his descent an uncomfortable ride. In places quite disturbing to watch but making the character vulnerable enough that you still want to give him a hug & take him away from it all. In fact the whole premise of noone being entirely responsible for their own actions does make you want to scream at them, so guess it must have touched a nerve...
All in all, glad we saw it - can't call it entertaining in the truest sense, but it's not supposed to be. Its supposed to make you think, and it does.
So we bought Heat magazine on the way home as light relief.
Phew.
10 reasons to love musicals:
- Escapism.
- Implausible plots.
- Belting tunes.
- Great costumes.
- Dry Ice.
- Slow motion action sequences.
- First night frolics.
- Leading men whose bathwater you would drink.
- Nice shoes.
- Tears.
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| Just becoz.... |
Saturday, 30 October 2010
It`s all soooo beauuuuutifuuuul.....
The essential ingredients for the perfect musical, in our humble opinion, are: a handsome leading man, a winsome leading lady, fabulous costumes and clever trickery on stage. All this without even starting on the score, which should be an emotional journey that by the end leaves you with a sense of familiarity yet still wanting more. And, in the case of the theatre fairies, the perfect score is singable. At top volume - in the car, in a train, in the shower and when hoovering.So. We were eagerly awaiting ALW's latest offering, 'Love Never Dies', though not so eagerly that we would have ordered the soundtrack in advance. OK, so maybe we'd heard the title song a few thousand times and were slightly disappointed that our contra altos were unable to reach the top notes without screeching, but nonetheless we tried. In fact we're far more comfortable with a tenor (fnar fnar) which may be a result of our earlier dalliances with alcohol and cigarettes. Well, everyone has those, don't they?Anyway. We digress.
The Adelphi has come home - the art deco interior suits the style of the musical perfectly and we loved the haunting design of the logo which is reminiscent of the original phantom logo but prettier by far. Good start! For a production of such hype, the Adelphi at first felt like a curious choice of 'home' for LND, being small, cosy and, for us, the place we'd last seen a camel, a pyramid and a man in a loincloth on a rotating stage, surrounded by stageschool
What was it like? Slightly schizophrenic opinion here, as the fairies have to admit to seeing it twice within the same month. Oh yes, we are that dedicated and incredibly fortunate. Though the first viewing was...a bit blah. No offence to the understudy we saw on our first visit (we believe Ramin Karimloo was on stage at the O2 being a feisty revolutionary, more about that later), but the understudy, though competent, couldn't overcome the holes in the story, the rather odd mixtures of musical genres (whats with 'The Beauty Underneath'...?) and the need for someone to hold it all together. Maybe it is acting skill which is so essential in the role of the phantom, as well as spectacular pipes, or simply the magnetic charisma that Ramin seems to have in spades (yes, still our beating little fairy hearts) but, the first viewing left us with a little sinking feeling...we had SO wished ALW had returned to his best.
Anyway, we can forgive ALW the dreadful plot, the predictable 'twists' and the sometimes cringeworthy lyrics as second time around we really enjoyed it - what a guilty pleasure! The only criticism about Ramin Karimloo in the leading role is not his fault - WHY does the phantom have to be bald? He's already unfortunate; why make him follicularly challenged as well? That's just cruel. Saying that, the comb over we saw in the stalls that evening was inspired even if it appeared a small rodent had attached itself to the head of the gentleman in question. Moving swiftly onwards.
The beginning of the show, on the pier, is stunning, staging at its best. Not seen to its best effect in the dress circle, but spectacular in the stalls. The shadow horses are a firm favourite, as is the peacock lady. We like pretty things. We like the beauty to be on top, you see. Sierra Bogroll is like a little doll; very delicate and shiny and polished and seemingly covered in glitter most of the time. Her voice is powerful and unique, reaching those highnotes with an ease we can only dream of. Occasionally hitting notes we're sure only dogs can hear. We're jealous. Yes, she is gorgeous in her costumes, which are to die for. But could it be that the inspiration for Christine's arrival in New York was taken from Kate Winslet in a film about a sinking ship? We're just saying.
Gustave deserves a little mention. Little Gustave. Needs a slap.
We like the freaks who are suitably creepy, great singers and brilliant roles for those who may not have the aesthetics to be leading ladies or gentleman. We think they are called character actors. Jolly good ones, mind ,and very entertaining. Meg and Madame Giry are purely plot devices - they make the most of what they are given, which isn't much, other than constantly whining for the phantoms attention and appreciation and in Meg's case, getting her kit off to get him interested. Nah, doesn't work. He only has eyes for the lovely Christine. And a gorilla beating the hell out of a cocktail bar and a rather fetching half girl/half skeleton (Posh-where exactly were you on Thursday night?? And does David know you creep out without an escort???).
Musically it's a shame the highlight of the show is the first song you hear, the phantom belting out 'Til I hear you sing' whilst simultaneously playing with his Christine doll and beating his chest - we like a man who can multitask. The songs are reprised throughout the show, including at the end, where Christine finds the energy to sing a megamix of lovesongs despite being shot in the gut. She takes her time before moving to the hereafter (we think 10 or so minutes at least), seemingly forgetting every so often she's dying and thinking of yet another thing she should be singing about before she goes. And herein lies our continuing gripe; what's with the ending??? What's with Gustave screaming 'NOOOOO' and then manfully embracing his new dad who previously terrified him, whislt his beloved mothers still warm body lies in the lap of her murderer (oops, was that a spoiler??)? Not forgetting that formerly moral & straight-laced Raoul doesn't get a look-in. He gets written out as a gambler - a hard-drinking waster who was no more than a mistake. So he just abandons Christine to sink or swim - and his family - without a second thought. Quite handy really. He gets the money and runs. Nice man. Wasn't he supposed to be a hero???
That is the main issue, really. Everyone seems to be more or less as they were in the Phantom of the Opera, but Raoul has become a weak, bitter shadow of the man we assumed he was. This, along with Christine's affair with the phantom the night before her wedding to Raoul makes a mockery of their so called 'love' - negating the first part entirely. Or are we just reading too much into it all? Probably.
This review might sound scathing but don't get us wrong. Love Never Dies is escapism at it's best and we do like it. It's a night at the theatre anyway, which is always good and the show supplied us with plenty of ooh's and aah's to keep us entertained. The second act really needs some tweaking as it would make the story much stronger and in our humble opinion, more likable. Yet despite our niggles we are already planning a third visit.
Just to hear Ramin sing once more.
He's lovely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47dUc4iMAvQ&feature=channel
One more for the road...
Memories.... like the corners of my miiiiind.....
(Sorry Barbra.)
October has been theatretastic in the fairy world - we have seen many sights, and thought many thoughts. We have hobnobbed with the glitterati (gatecrashed), drank their champagne, marvelled at their eyelashes and their (in some cases...) vacuousness, and in this process come to embrace our comeliness (and Karinas stubby eyelashes).
These memories will be recounted as they pop into our minds, and therefore not necessarily in chronological order. We have many travels and tales to tell reaching back years - so bear with us.
October has been theatretastic in the fairy world - we have seen many sights, and thought many thoughts. We have hobnobbed with the glitterati (gatecrashed), drank their champagne, marvelled at their eyelashes and their (in some cases...) vacuousness, and in this process come to embrace our comeliness (and Karinas stubby eyelashes).
These memories will be recounted as they pop into our minds, and therefore not necessarily in chronological order. We have many travels and tales to tell reaching back years - so bear with us.
At last!!
After many late night discussions lasting into the early hours, we are finally putting finger to keyboard to record our wisdom. Fuelled by tea and chocolate, we speak sense. Always the truth. And we try to be kind.
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